Dear Verizon, and HTC
I hate your actual guts. Both of you bastards have driven me to drink. On a fucking Tuesday afternoon. Tuesday! What the actual fuck is the Verizon Cloud? Where are my goddamned files and contacts??? The only thing that’s easy about using this back-up service you provide is losing my shit. Sure, I can manually enter my contacts, but how am I supposed to recover the 300 photos of my cat? 100 selfies? And eleventy hundred photos of my family? Oh! And HTC, you’re the fuckest-uppest. My phone keeps telling me I don’t have a SIM card installed. I can see the motherfucker in its slot! So what the actual fuck goes on during assembly there in Taifuckingwan? I can’t send a simple text message to my daughter telling her how much I hate your actual guts! I can’t make a phone call!
All of you motherfuckers don’t know me. You don’t know how quickly I go from 0-fuck you. I’ve already destroyed my old phone trying to get to its insides. See, the Verizon Cloud needs me to use my new phone to scan a goddamned QR number on my old phone in order to transfer my files and contacts. And the information will not scan!
Fuck you all so hard in the butthole. I hate you.
Kindra M. Austin