Dearest friends and family the world over,
You all deserve ponies, and ice cream sundaes, and bouncy castles, and…I don’t know. What is like, super balls awesome? ATVs? ATVs, I suppose, are pretty fucking rad.
The encouragement I receive in support of my dream is incredible, and incomparable. I’m an author now, not only because I finished a manuscript. I am so loved. If my heart swells any more, blood will leak through the pores of my skin. Literally.
Don’t you hate it when people improperly insert literally into their conversations? “I packed so many egg rolls down my throat, my stomach, like literally exploded.” I was so fucking mortified, I like, died. Literally, dude.” “I rolled my eyes so fucking hard, they literally fell out of my head.” “I’m a vacuous cunt. Literally.”
And I am literally grateful.
You all are bananas, and I love you endlessly.